


I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken

by Malec_Lover23



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys talking through their insecurities, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Magnus Bane, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortal Magnus Bane, Immortality, Immortality Rune (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, but like not yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Lover23/pseuds/Malec_Lover23
Summary: Alec reveals the immortality rune to Magnus and their night doesn’t quite go as planned.Here I am using another Harry Styles lyric because it kinda fits and I still think his album is the best
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 190
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories





	I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos comments and subscriptions make me the happiest so leave them if you’re willing!
> 
> Find me on tumblr (accepting prompts and asks and whatever else) Wattpad and twitter Malec_Lover23

"Magnus?" Alec steps into the loft, speaking softly and anxiously.

Magnus picks up on his husband's nervousness immediately, for Alec hasn't been nervous around Magnus for years.

"Hey, are you okay?" Magnus steps out of the kitchen with a spoon in his hand. Alec looks at the spoon and smiles. "Now I know you aren't used to me cooking but you don't have to look at me like that!" Magnus kisses Alec softly. 

"Do you think we could talk over that delicious dinner you're making?"

"Of course, now you go get changed pretty boy." Magnus winks and walks back into the kitchen. 

Alec showers and changes into sweats while the smell becomes stronger and more appetizing, wafting throughout the loft. 

"What's up darling?" Magnus asks after they both sit down at the table and begin eating. 

"Um, well it is surprising and shocking to say the least..." Alec stammers and stares at his plate filled with food that seems so good but his stomach is doing flips so eating seems impossible.

"Alexander, why are you so tense?" Magnus's hand on his arm is normally warm, comforting, but it couldn't make him more uneasy tonight. 

"Clary made this for me...for us." Alec smooths a crinkled paper on the table and hands it to Magnus. 

On the paper, there is a intricate and beautifully drawn rune. Magnus looks up at Alec, confusion furrowing his brows.

"This is gorgeous, but what does this rune have to do with us, my love?"

"This is an immortality rune, and it could be our forever, my forever." 

"This would make you immortal?" Alec nods. Magnus almost smiles, almost. But then he realizes what Alec's saying, and waits for the catch. There's always a catch when it comes to Magnus' happiness.

"Magnus," Alec squeezes his hand. "There's not that much research on it yet, but Izzy has done a lot of testing and she noticed that it's similar to the alliance rune, but the only difference is that I could still be a Shadowhunter while being immortal." Another squeeze. "I know it's a lot, but I've thought about it every single second. I want this. I want you, forever." 

Several moments of absolute silence pass, of Magnus just staring at his plate, Alec opening and closing his mouth attempting to find the right words to say something, anything. 

Finally, Alec settles, "So much has happened to us, and we deserve the assurance that our live will never die. We deserve this. We can still hold out positions and do the jobs we both love, changing the Shadow world one step at a time." 

"You don't know what you're talking about." Magnus turns away, pulling his hand away from Alec's. Alec's heart shatters as he notices how glassy Magnus' eyes have become. 

Panic clutches Alec's heart like a vise and he scrambles to make things right. "Magnus, I know this rune carries a much deeper meaning for you than it does for me. Clary gave me this rune six days ago, and the reason it's so crumpled is because I've had it in my hand every since. This is a huge thing I've just put on you, and the last thing I'd want is to pressure you to a decision, so think about it." Magnus gets up and moves to the couch, abandoning his plate of barely eaten food, the thought of eating one more bite leaving a sour feeling in his stomach. Alec follows him, sitting at the other end of the couch, clearly waiting on his response. 

"I don't want to think about it, Alec. This isn't what you want, rest assured I'm saving you from this. You're blinded by your love for me, and I'm touched, but this could never work." 

Alec shrinks away, hurt that Magnus would even say something like that to him. "I weighed every scenario you could ever think of. Magnus, I've been blinded since I met you, but love can't blind someone, only make their vision clearer and more direct toward a larger purpose. Yes I love you, but that only makes me want this more. You didn't force me, I made this decision myself. I'm sure that I want this, I know that I want this." Magnus shakes his head, a pained noise escaping his lips. 

"Magnus, why don't you want this? Is it me?" Alec asks so softly, with such uncertainty and reluctance Magnus spins around and shakes his head. He doesn't want to give his husband another moment of thinking Alec of all things is the issue. 

"No, no Alec! Never. Get that out of your head right now. It will never be you. Ever." 

"Then why?" Magnus cups his darlings cheek, in tears when he nuzzles back, the pain so evident in his face. Magnus never wants to cause this pain, this turmoil, especially for his husband. Magnus leans forward and presses their foreheads together, every cell and fiber in his body yearning for Magnus to run like he's done for centuries. His brain is screaming at him to shut down, to raise walls, to keep his mouth closed. 

Yet, he doesn't. Because this is his Alexander, pouring out his heart to him and leaving it attached to his sleeve. "I'm terrified, Alec. Nothing has ever terrified me in my entire four centuries of living than this rune." Magnus leans back to look in Alec's eyes and pulls his hands away from Alec's cheeks, but placing them in Alec's lap. Alec waits a few seconds and then grasps them, running a thumb along his knuckles. 

"I know that you're scared, but why?" Alec can't put this in perspective, which isn't anyone's fault. Magnus can't put this in Alec's perspective, which isn't anyone's fault, either. Like Magnus said after their first date, they really are just too different; however, that clearly worked in their favor. Magnus takes a shaky breath and gathers his thoughts, searching for a reasonable response to such an agonizing question. 

"I love you so much. I care for you so much that it terrifies me. The thought of losing you terrifies me. But the thought of you resenting me terrifies me even more. That you'd get tired of being with me because I'm too much, because I roped you into becoming immortal. That you'd hate me as every single one of your family members slowly die off. Your mother, your sister, your Parabatai. There won't be many left when it's all said and done, Alec." 

"But there will be you, and that will be enough for me. Magnus, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that doesn't scare the shit out of me. I know things will be hard, but I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. You are always the most steadfast person in my life. You are my rock, my anchor, my light. I can't imagine life without you, so why would I want you to imagine it without me? You don't deserve that pain of losing anyone else. I'd rather go through heartbreak after heartbreak with you by my side than you go through losing me alone." 

His makeup is surely running down his face by now, smeared by tears after Alec's rather eloquently spoken explanation and the mere process of taking such a revelation in.

"No one has ever wanted to spend forever with me." Magnus says, finding an sudden interest in his bare feet pressed against the carpet. 

It still makes Magnus go stone cold when something like that comes out of his mouth. He knows Alec would never make him feel bad about it, but the confession still strikes his heart. Those statements completely destroy and demolish all those walls he's had centuries of practice lifting. 

"Then let me be the first, Magnus." Alec states it so resoundingly, undeniably, unquestionably. With that tone, there is absolutely no reason for Magnus to think Alec isn't one hundred percent serious in his promise. 

"You're a first for me with a lot of things." Magnus replies, a painful chuckle escaping his lips. It still hurts so damn much, to think of all the things Alec will be giving up just for Magnus. 

"Magnus," Alec twists Magnus' wedding ring around Magnus' finger. "You are my world. You are my everything. And no matter how hard it is for you to hear that, it's the truth. Nothing matters without you. The world itself doesn't matter without you. So why would staying here with you be a burden on me if you are and always will be my world? You can have all the time you want to think about it, but I'm firm in my decision. If you want me, if you'll have me." 

"You silly Nephilim, how could I ever say no to such a thing?" Magnus reaches over and lays his head down on Alec's chest, breathing in the distinct sandalwood scent that gained so much more meaning when Alec started using his shampoo and body wash. Alec's arms tighten around his back, engulfing him in comfort and warmth. 

The conversation is far from over. Emotions from  
both Alec and Magnus have barely brushed the surface of existence. 

But in this very moment, Alec holds Magnus tightly, to show him immortal or not, he simply isn't going anywhere.


End file.
